Monday, August 09, 2004
Really STINKY People
You know, I always assumed that regular people don't like to stink. I thought perhaps they would bathe out of a desire for good personal hygiene, or a desire not to offend those around them, or just because its nice to be clean. But apparently I was mistaken. Many people I deal with at the reference desk are, simply put, STINKY. And am I not talking about the homeless people who don't have a place to bathe (although they are quite pungent too). I am talking about regular people who, in the heat of a hot San Diego summer, don't wear deodorant or bathe daily.
The worst offender came in recently. This overweight guy comes huffing and puffing into the library. He is sweating profusely and pants, "I need to find this legal information." He is trying to explain what he needs, and he says "Here are the court papers." He whips out this pile of papers from under his sweaty armpit and they are literally wet with sweat and have what looks like some kind of cottage cheese substance. Aiiee!!
I rear back and back away. I think seriously about calling a Haz Mat clean up team. "Oh, I don't need to see the papers," I said. "I think what you need is over here." I take him to the books out in the main reading room and then hurry back to my desk and rub some lip gloss under my nose to get rid of the stench.
We also keep a can of Lysol at the reference desk too to help get rid of these lovely bodily odors. Funny, my professors in library school never told me about the "lip gloss under the nose" trick. I learned that from a librarian about to retire.
As far as stinky, some people just have really hideous breath. I am talking "capable of killing plastic plants" type of breath. And they want to stand thisclose to me to explain their problems. I have to fight to maintain a neutral expression, all the while thinking "Did you eat dead rats for lunch?" I am considering having my smell receptors removed to keep down my revulsion. Although if these aroma assaults continue, the smell receptors may get cauterized on their own!
The worst offender came in recently. This overweight guy comes huffing and puffing into the library. He is sweating profusely and pants, "I need to find this legal information." He is trying to explain what he needs, and he says "Here are the court papers." He whips out this pile of papers from under his sweaty armpit and they are literally wet with sweat and have what looks like some kind of cottage cheese substance. Aiiee!!
I rear back and back away. I think seriously about calling a Haz Mat clean up team. "Oh, I don't need to see the papers," I said. "I think what you need is over here." I take him to the books out in the main reading room and then hurry back to my desk and rub some lip gloss under my nose to get rid of the stench.
We also keep a can of Lysol at the reference desk too to help get rid of these lovely bodily odors. Funny, my professors in library school never told me about the "lip gloss under the nose" trick. I learned that from a librarian about to retire.
As far as stinky, some people just have really hideous breath. I am talking "capable of killing plastic plants" type of breath. And they want to stand thisclose to me to explain their problems. I have to fight to maintain a neutral expression, all the while thinking "Did you eat dead rats for lunch?" I am considering having my smell receptors removed to keep down my revulsion. Although if these aroma assaults continue, the smell receptors may get cauterized on their own!
