Monday, April 28, 2008
Where is the Photo of Jesus?
Some of you have heard this story. For those of you who have not, I swear on my mother's grave it is true.
It is a Sunday afternoon in the public library and I am on the reference desk. A nicely dressed man, probably in his mid 40s, comes up to the desk. "Can I help you?" I ask. "Yes," he said. "I'd like to see the photo of Jesus."
I scrutinize his face. I look around for hidden camcorders, or some sign that this is a joke. But no. The man is 100% serious. So I take a deep breath and say, "Do you mean some of the religious paintings of Jesus?"
"No," he says, looking at me as if I am too stupid to understand the question. "The photo of Jesus."
With a perfectly straight face and sincere tone, I say, "Well, that's gonna be hard to come by because Jesus lived 2000 years ago and the camera was only invented in the 1800s. If I had a photo of Jesus, I'd be very rich because I would've sold it long ago."
"What do you mean?" he asked angrily. "I've seen pictures of Jesus all over the place! I am just asking you to show me the real one!"
Patiently, I say, "What you have seen are artistic renditions of Jesus. See, if the artist is white, then Jesus is white with blue eyes. If the artist is Hispanic, then Jesus is Hispanic-looking. If the artist is black, then Jesus is black. See how that works?"
I try to allow him to save face. "Would you like to see a book that has a lot of paintings of Jesus in it instead?" I ask him.
The patron was having none of it. "Look, if you don't have a photo of Jesus you should just say so! I am going to the Christian bookstore! I bet they'll have a picture of Jesus!!!" And with that statement, he stormed out of the library.
"Ok, good luck with that," I said cheerily as he left. I was so glad he was going to bother someone else!
As I sat there afterwards, I decided I was stunned at the sheer ignorance of the question. And also at the disbelief of the patron. I don't think anything I could've said would have convinced him that a photo of Jesus doesn't exist anywhere in the world. But then I'm an atheist, so what do I know?
It is a Sunday afternoon in the public library and I am on the reference desk. A nicely dressed man, probably in his mid 40s, comes up to the desk. "Can I help you?" I ask. "Yes," he said. "I'd like to see the photo of Jesus."
I scrutinize his face. I look around for hidden camcorders, or some sign that this is a joke. But no. The man is 100% serious. So I take a deep breath and say, "Do you mean some of the religious paintings of Jesus?"
"No," he says, looking at me as if I am too stupid to understand the question. "The photo of Jesus."
With a perfectly straight face and sincere tone, I say, "Well, that's gonna be hard to come by because Jesus lived 2000 years ago and the camera was only invented in the 1800s. If I had a photo of Jesus, I'd be very rich because I would've sold it long ago."
"What do you mean?" he asked angrily. "I've seen pictures of Jesus all over the place! I am just asking you to show me the real one!"
Patiently, I say, "What you have seen are artistic renditions of Jesus. See, if the artist is white, then Jesus is white with blue eyes. If the artist is Hispanic, then Jesus is Hispanic-looking. If the artist is black, then Jesus is black. See how that works?"
I try to allow him to save face. "Would you like to see a book that has a lot of paintings of Jesus in it instead?" I ask him.
The patron was having none of it. "Look, if you don't have a photo of Jesus you should just say so! I am going to the Christian bookstore! I bet they'll have a picture of Jesus!!!" And with that statement, he stormed out of the library.
"Ok, good luck with that," I said cheerily as he left. I was so glad he was going to bother someone else!
As I sat there afterwards, I decided I was stunned at the sheer ignorance of the question. And also at the disbelief of the patron. I don't think anything I could've said would have convinced him that a photo of Jesus doesn't exist anywhere in the world. But then I'm an atheist, so what do I know?
Labels: bizarre question, jesus
"Free for All" - Book on Public Library Weirdos
Lately I am reading "Free For All: Oddballs, Geeks, and Gangstas in the Public Library" by Don Borchert, a public librarian. It's pretty funny, and scarily accurate. This is required reading for anyone who works with the public.
