Bizarre Questions & What Library School Never Taught You

One of our regular crazies (I'll call her "J") called me at 8:30 a.m. this morning to tell me about the secret orgies that are going on at the White House with Barbara Bush. "Which one- the older or younger one?" I asked. She said the older one. Not the kind of visual you want to have at 8:30 a.m., or any time of day, I assure you. In the past, J has announced that Aretha Franklin stole her boyfriend, Martha Stuart was sneaking in her windows at night and trying on her hats, and that Koby Bryant kept showing up at her apartment building. J also has a theory on how people get into cabinet posts in the White House. "They are all part of a secret fraternity! And do you know what the initiation is?" said J in her I-forgot-to-take-my-medication high-strung delusional voice. "I can't imagine," I replied. "ORAL SEX WITH DOGS!" she yelled into the phone. "Hmmm...do they get to pick the type of dog?" I asked. She said she wasn't sure but she'd get back to me on that. I can't wait.